The Bachelorette: Sonic Edition
by Procurator Fox
Summary: Amy Rose, in search of love, participates in the TV show, the Bachelorette
1. Intro

The Bachelorette: Sonic edition

The Bachelorette: Sonic edition

Written by Darkfur Tails

Chapter 1

(Sob…)

Amy was lying on her bed, crying. It had happened AGAIN. Once again she was doomed to hours of sobbing in her pillow. She recalled the moment that had just occurred.

(Flashback)

Amy was STILL chasing Sonic. She was yelling after him to stop running and that she loved him and stuff. Sonic suddenly turned around and said in her face,

"Amy, Can you please stop chasing me! It's really annoying and you know what, I don't love you, no matter how much you think I do!"

(End flashback)

Amy took things like this very seriously. This is why she was doomed to hours more of crying. (Usually she would forget everything after a while, and continue chasing Sonic again regardless.) For the time being, she was heartbroken. She was crying so hard, that she almost didn't hear her doorbell when it rang. Excitedly thinking it might be Sonic, she rushed to the door, only to find… President George Bush?!

(In a Bush-like voice) "Hi… I'm President… Bush… And I… am glad to say… taxes have gone up…"

"How is that good?" replied Amy.

"It's good for me… because I get lots of money… to spend on the war… in Iraq…"

"…"

(Slam!!)

Amy shut the door so hard, Bush flew back 15 feet and hit Amy's mailbox, knocking a letter out. The wind gently blew it up into Amy's bedroom window. She noticed it as it landed next to her. After opening the envelope, she read,

Dear Amy Rose,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been nominated to be the star of our show, the Bachelorette. If you accept, E-mail me at (Insert E-mail address here)

Bob Joe-Fred

Amy smiled; this was her chance to get together with Sonic! She had watched this show before to see how other girls got close to guys. And at the end, the winner and the girl got married! Amy was so excited that the first thing she did was send an e-mail to the guy, saying "I accept!!", and five seconds later sent another saying "What's taking so long?". After about twenty E-mails or so, she got a reply.

Dear Amy,

You have been accepted to be on the show, the bachelorette. The 20 Competitors are as follows.

1. Sonic the Hedgehog

2. Shadow the Hedgehog

3. Knuckles the Echidna

4. Miles "Tails" Prower

5. Jet the Hawk

6. Storm The Albatross

7. Silver (I don't know what he is, with those weird hair thingies)

8. Espio the Chameleon

9. Vector the Crocodile

10. Charmy the Bee

11. Black Doom the Black Alien leader

12. Eggman the… Egg… man…

13. Metal Sonic the Robot

14. Stitch the Experiment 626

15. Shrek the Ogre

16. Mario the Plumber

17. Tarzan the Ape Man

18. Popeye the Sailor Man

19. Quagmire the Drunk Man

20. Rouge the Bat

Transportation has already been arranged. Enjoy!

Bob Joe-Fred

Amy read over the list of competitors blindly, only making sure that Sonic was there. She didn't care who else was there, because she was the one who would make the eliminations. Eventually, she planned to eliminate everyone but Sonic, and then he would HAVE to marry her.

Suddenly, after she had closed out of the E-mail, a strange portal appeared in her room. It was a swirl of red and pink along with traces of white swirling around. Amy began to feel herself being pulled into it, and she started to pull herself away from it. The colors swirled faster and faster, and the pulling force, which surprisingly wasn't sucking anything else but her, became stronger. With a last effort, Amy tripped, and flew, screaming into the portal. After she was gone, the swirling colors disappeared, leaving the room just as it had been.

Amy came out of the portal into a strange room. A red carpet spread, and an elegant stairway spread in front of her. A spotlight fell in front of her, and into it, strode the form of Bob Joe-Fred. He was a human, and was wearing a fancy red suit with a black tie.

"Welcome, my good friends, to the new Bachelorette show!"

Amy heard voices come from behind her, one that sounded like Sonic.

"How the heck did we get here, Tails?"

Amy turned to Sonic, who was watching his friends face turn red with embarrassment.

"Sonic… you know that show that was on TV last Thursday?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"We've been nominated… to be in it…"

"What the?! Who the heck is the…"

Sonic looked to see Amy staring at him lovingly, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, #."

End of Chapter 1


	2. First Eliminations

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Welcome one and all to our show, folks!" Said Bob Joe-Fred to a cameraman that was filming the occasion.

"I'm sure that you're all wondering why you're here. You've been nominated to be contestants in this season of the Bachelorette, starring… Amy Rose!"

A spotlight appeared above Amy, so everyone could get a look at her. All of them had seen the show, so they all knew the rules.

"But… I'm not gay!!" screamed out Rouge.

"Too bad," Replied Bob Joe-Fred, "You've been nominated anyway. Now, for tonight, we will have a talent competition to start off the show!"

Applause could be heard, but nobody had any clue where it was coming from.

Suddenly, Amy and Bob were sitting in chairs while the others were arranged in a line towards a stage.

"Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed the commercials!"

Nobody in the room understood this, but they listened anyway.

"Now, we will start the season with a talent show in which all of our contestants will show off their best side to Amy in attempts to set a good first impression! Our first contestant is Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Sonic walked onto the stage, clearly thinking of what to do. Suddenly a light bulb went off in Sonics head. He disappeared and reappeared wearing a Chinese toga and eating Lo Mein.

"I just ran to China and back in 0.0000000000001 Seconds!"

Applause

Sonic exited to let Mario step onto the stage.

"Watch-a this!"

Mario jumped and squashed a mushroom that Sonic had dropped from his Lo Mein.

Nobody was impressed by this.

Shadow, who was the next contestant, pulled out a chaos emerald and used chaos control. Suddenly, a drum set, two guitars, and a microphone appeared. Using chaos control, Shadow Played and sang the chorus of _Through the Fire and the Flames_ by Dragonforce.

_So far away we wait for the day,_

_For the lights all so wasted and gone;_

_We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days,_

_Through the fire and the flames we carry on!_

Thunderous applause!!

Sonic became Jealous.

The next contestant, Knuckles, punched a pillar near him, and a whole section of the building collapsed.

Nobody was impressed by this

Tails grabbed Shadow's chaos emerald and used chaos control to rebuild the building in a way that it now looked even better.

Applause

Silver used his telekinetic powers to take control of Knuckles' mind. Knuckles, under Silver's guidance, said,

"I volunteer to leave the game right now."

The Audience not only gave applause for Silver, but let him eliminate Knuckles from the game.

As he was taken to another room, Knuckles said, (No longer under Silvers control)

"Well, at least I'm not going to marry Amy."

Sonic suddenly requested that he could leave as well. However, nobody would let him.

"Well, it was worth a try."

Suddenly the room was transformed into a race track, and Jet used his extreme gear to defeat his robot opponents by more than 40 seconds.

Applause

Storm used _**his**_ extreme gear to not only defeat the robots, but to perform awesome tricks on ramps that were scattered about.

Applause

Espio used his camouflage ability to sneak out of the spotlight unnoticed.

Applause

Vector used his large jaws to chug a gallon of beer in three seconds.

Applause

Charmy used his …bee power… to make a huge flower grow, which he gave to Amy.

Applause

Shrek farted and made the whole room turn green.

Booing and screams of distaste

Popeye ate a can of spinach and his theme song started playing. He tried punching Shrek, but he changed the music on the stereo to "I'm a Believer" and beat Popeye up.

Gasping and looking away to avoid violence.

"Wait a minute, how can we tell people are looking away when there _**is**_ no audience?!"

An Audience suddenly appeared behind everyone, watching the show.

Stitch, who had flicked a switch to make them appear, laughed.

Applause

Tarzan made a large yelling noise, and a monkey landed on his shoulder.

Applause

Metal Sonic recorded Tarzan's voice, and made the exact same yell. A monkey landed on his face and started to beat him up.

Gasping and looking away to avoid violence.

Eggman rebuilt Metal Sonic.

Applause

Black Doom transformed into Devil Doom, and went to Hell. _**Really**_.

Nobody was impressed by this.

Quagmire just said, "I'll show you my talent giggity-giggity style if you strip down, Amy. Gigity-giggity-giggity!!"

Quagmire was eliminated from the game.

Rouge the Bat showed everyone her biggest gem.

The audience oohed and aahed.

"Well now that all of he contestants have shown their talent, we have to eliminate five of them." Explained Bob. "However, three have already been eliminated. Knuckles nearly destroyed the building, Quagmire acted too perverted, and Black Doom… went…to…hell… this leaves two more to be eliminated. Amy, please select these two."

Amy looked over her choices, and decided on two.

"Eggman"

Eggman walked over to Amy.

"It would never have worked out between us…"

Eggman nodded, and left.

"My second person to eliminate is-"

"Please be me!" interrupted Rouge.

"-…Mario."

Mario jumped into the air, and then fell through the floor.

"Mama Mia!"

Suddenly, in everyone's field of vision, the words Game Over were displayed.

"Why didn't you pick me!!" asked Rouge.

"…there are worse things than being gay…"

Shrek farted again in the background.

"…I think I'm beginning to understand …"

End of Chapter 2


End file.
